I'm not normally an angry person

Hello to everybody who happens to read this blog. In lite of my last post I want to let you know that I am not normally an angry person. I am irritated about how autism is misrepresented by the press. I don't know how much more plainly I can put this, everybody; and I mean everybody has the capacity for violence. It doesn't matter who you are. I am going to leave that statement as it stands, it needs no explanation or defense. Now, I am going to talk about the last day of school that happened to be today! Timothy comes home yesterday after school to let me know that there is a party in his class and wants to know if we can make cookies for his classmates. So he and I made some cookies. He then lets me know that I am using math and that I'm teaching him how to cook. Timothy has been asking me to teach him how to cook for the last couple of months, and I'm not comfortable with that, mostly because I don't think I'm a very good cook. I think he likes it because I said "Baking is Science for hungry people". It made him giggle. He had a great party at the school today, his teacher and classmates loved the cookies he helped me make. Now the Christmas vacation is beginning, and I have 3 boys home for the next 2 weeks. I'm sure there will be conversations about sonic screwdrivers, cybermen, and Daleks, as well as baking bread and cookies. I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Please remember the survivors and family members of the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary School in your prayers. I know we have been praying for them. Please keep my little family in your prayers, we pray for those who pray for us.

I am NOT Adam Lanza's mother.

In this time of the news sensationalizing the newest school shooting, and a mother stating that she IS the mother of a sociopath, and comparing her 13 year old son to Adam Lanza and the other school shooters. I have to say that I am disgusted with the way the mass news media has reported this case. The very first thing they say about Adam Lanza is that he was Aspergers, then CNN has a so called "expert" on saying that Autistic people have something missing from their brains. Adam Lanza's actions are NOT the typical actions of somebody on the autism spectrum. In this last few days, I've had to talk to my children about what has happened in Connecticut. My autistic son's eyes swelled up with tears asking me how anybody could shoot kindergartners. I can't answer him because I don't know. I also had to tell him what the news was saying about autism, and I gave him guide lines about what to do if he's bullied at school because of the shooting. It is a sad sign that I have to protect my son from the national stigma surrounding autism. The national news media should know better than to report based on rumor and stigma. I guess they've never taken a journalism class worth a damn, and that makes the news less trustworthy. I understand that the people want information NOW, but reporting on speculation does more harm than good. I realize that in this nation Autism is the big scary word that nobody understands, and that several people want a "cure" for. That doesn't make it ok for the mass media to villainize the autistic community. I would like to share an article from Psychology Today's website: http://bit.ly/STs5Zu I encourage you to read the whole article. I am not going to go into gun controls because it is a pointless argument, neither side is going to budge on this issue. In the wake of this horrible tragedy, I offer my prayers and condolences to the families, children, and staff members of Sandy Hook Elementary School. I hope that we can come together as a family of humans and remember that we are supposed to love each other, especially in this season of Christmas and Hanukkah. Remember the miracles that happen every day and LOVE your children, because tomorrow isn't promised. Thank you for reading.

And now for a fluffy bunny post.

Hello all! I know I've been pretty hostile in my posts lately. I do apologize for the hostility. Today is Friday and we're looking forward to a great weekend. This weekend is another game weekend in our household. My 2 older boys play soccer in our county youth league. So far I'm loving that my children are on the same team, it really frees up some of our family time, just so we don't have to spend the whole day at the park, also, most of our games are morning games, so we can keep the schedule going. I hope you all have a great weekend! Keep your hope

My blogger recommendations and other thoughts

Before I begin; I have to state for the record, I am in no way an expert on autism. I hold no degree's in any type of therapy or psychology. I am a mother of 3 children, one of whom is autistic. I have refused to give in to the hopelessness that the experts and other organizations have dished out. I am not looking for a cure. It is my hope to give some information, share my story, and to give hope to other parents so they don't give into hopelessness. I am tired of the inaccurate media portrayals of autistic people and the negative stigma that all autistic people receive from the inaccuracy of our media. Hello everybody. First I would like to apologize for not updating as much as I would like. Even though I am a stay at home mom I don't always have the time to indulge in communicating with the world. In some of my time I've been reading some blogs from autistic adults. As a parent, autistic adults give me a sense of pride, not that these adults are my children, but because these adults are doing exactly what the "experts" said they never could do. They are advocating, communicating, and living in the world. I would like to share some pages with you, for you to read. http://thautcast.com/drupal5/ https://www.facebook.com/pages/Karlas-ASD-Page/155369821204141 http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/ http://autisticadvocacy.org/ http://theautisticme.blogspot.com/ These are just a few, but an inspiring few, if you know of anymore that I haven't listed please share. Lately I've been reading Karla's page, and she wrote something that I think is an awesome idea. The plan is to pair an autistic youth with an autistic adult, so these children know that they aren't alone and that they are going to grow up, and importantly, that they can become adults in the work force and be successful. That is the most important of messages that any child can get! It is important for every child to know that they aren't alone; no matter what they are going though, and that there is nothing wrong with them. For far too long autism has been portrayed as a disease that needs a cure, as an affliction that makes victims of families, as a condition where autistic people are thought to not have a conscience or morality, or that they just don't have any feelings. That is not true! The only people who don't have a conscience, morality or don't have feelings are called sociopaths, being autistic is NOT the same as being a sociopath. If you read the blogs that I have posted and the pages I have posted, you can see that these adults have the full range of emotions, just like everybody else. They are seeing and feeling the injustice that is running rampant in our world. I am far from being an expert on these individuals or what they are going though. I firmly believe that if we are to help our children then we should read from the adults who where once children. If we want to understand why whatever therapy isn't working the way the experts say it should be working, then perhaps we should look to the autistic adults who have been though it. I also admit that I am looking for examples for my son to follow, letting him read some of what is written helps him to feel hope, to know that he can be a successful adult someday is what he and every other child need to know.

Rant!

I have gone to some so called support groups for parents of ASD children. I have to say that I'm very irritated with what I hear and see in this part of the parents of ASD community. I hear parents talk about their ASD children as if the diagnosis was a death sentence. There is nothing further from the truth! Your child is alive and well. Don't buy into the "your child will never" talk that you're bound to get from somebody. I say again, this isn't true. Maybe you'll have a hard time, but I don't believe in anybody saying that a child will never do something. I understand that Autism is hard, I also understand that if you've met one child with autism you've only met ONE child with autism. I know that there are some children who really can't be in mainstream programs, that being said, I know that there is hope. I know that eventually these children will be adults, and it is our job to give them the tools to function and survive in the world at large. It's up to them to do the work as they mature. As parents, I believe it is our job to guide our children into adulthood, and through all of the stages that they will be going though. I believe if we give our children the tools that they can make it work. ASD children and adults have the full range of emotion, they have strengths. As with any child, use your child's strengths to get them interested in working on their weaknesses. I realize that to a certain point, I am preaching to the choir. These points have been on my mind for years now. I wish that I had somebody tell me these things when we had gotten our son Timothy diagnosed that there is hope. I had to stop talking to many friends and family because of what they would say. I've heard so many people blame different things for their children's autism. There is no cure for autism, it is NOT a disease, just as there is no cure for skin color nor is there a cure for having an accent. I've never believed that there is a specific cause for autism or a way to make it go away. There is hope, hope for you and your child. I really have to stress this point. There are therapies available to help your child cope with the world around them, take advantage of them! They are provided by your county office of education.

Back to school

Well, my son is very happy that school will start up again tomorrow. I've not been the best as scheduling Summer activities. We've done the back to school IEP, and his teacher knows how he has been doing in school for the previous years. I find teachers and school staff amusing sometimes. We live in a small community in Northern California, and because of that we know almost all of the teachers, most of the students and all of the regular support staff. It's nice to know everybody who works with our children. They understand the goals I have for my son and want to help him to be successful in reaching them. Everybody knows Timothy in that school, either because they've seen him melt down in the playground at some point or another; or because he introduced a very popular trend in our little school. That trend would be carrying around a microbe. Yes I said microbe, the microbe he carries around school with him is Strep Throat. You can see what I mean at www.giantmicrobes.com He carries a stuffed microbe, and his friends saw this and then they started carrying them and the trend grew from there. All 3 of my children will be attending the same school this year, our youngest is entering kindergarten. Daniel and Timothy will be wanting to check on Connor at different points during the first 2 weeks of school. Everybody is looking forward to school starting up again, and being back on a schedule again.

In the beginning part 1

I am a mother of 3 sons. I became a mother at age 21 to my oldest son Daniel. Daniel is of the "neurological norm". I became a mother again at 22 to my son Timothy. Timothy is an ASD child, for those of you who don't know what ASD means it stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder. I became a mother for a third time at age 28 with my youngest son Connor. Connor is also of the "neurological norm".

Now as I mentioned, Timothy is autistic, he was clinically diagnosed at a year and a half old as Autistic by a local regional center in 2003. At that time, they told my husband and I that he would never be mainstreamed in school, never say I love you, never be able to read or understand what he is reading, never fully acclimate into society and would quite possibly end up in a group home as a teenager or adult. There wasn't much mentioned about a second step after the diagnoses, other than continued in home therapy.

I don't like the word never, especially when it comes to the abilities of children. That doesn't mean that I didn't mourn for the ideas that I had for Timothy, I just didn't stay there for very long. After about a week of mourning the idea that Timothy was going to have an easy life, I decided that "never" was an unacceptable answer about Timothy. He was still receiving in home therapy for speech and occupational therapy, he was communicating his wants and needs with us with PECS ( Picture Exchange Communication System). He didn't really begin to verbally communicate with us until he was 3 years old.

At 3 years old, he started talking, spelling out loud, reading and he potty trained himself. 3 years old is also when the in home therapy ended and he started preschool. The nice thing about the preschool is that it was designed to help mainstream ASD children. Because Timothy was born in January, he started on his third birthday rather than going in the beginning of the next school year. At that time we started him in two preschool settings, one was the center based preschool for ASD children, the other was Head Start Home Base. Because the center preschool is state funded and Head Start Home Base is federally funded, as far as the system was concerned there was no overlap of services.

Timothy spent two and a half years in these programs and flourished. We where all working toward the same goal, to get him to want to socialize and verbally communicate with us. It started out small, one of our first goals was to get Timothy to greet people as they came and left with Hello and Goodbye. It took about 2 months before he understood that saying hello and goodbye is expected in the everyday world we live in. When he started out he would spell hello. We where happy that it was progress. In his center based preschool he was learning about his schedule, and it was a picture schedule based on the PECS cards. We adopted a similar schedule for Timothy's home life, so he could have a sense of continuity, security and structure.

I will continue this story in Part 2. Thanks for reading